What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
