Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
