my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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