and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
