I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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