Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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