Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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