using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize