Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
