The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
