I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
