Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
