There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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