im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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