Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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