Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
