I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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