Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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