Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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