No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize