bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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