I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
