Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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