is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize