I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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