Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
