dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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