what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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