recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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