I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Everclear isn't food dammit
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
