I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
