I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
