Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize