Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
