I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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