You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
