Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
