Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
