She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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