tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize