I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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