cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
