what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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