We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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