32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
