They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
