I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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