I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
