Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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