You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
