pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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