He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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