I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
