how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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