I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
