We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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