she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
