People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
