i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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